Active Roster

Media

Sponsors

Lottery Ticket
Used for the guy on the team that rarely dresses. 
Ex. "Hey 2-1, you've been scratched more times than a lottery ticket!"

Ice In My Drink
Ex. "eh buddy, i've seen more ice in my drink than you have all year!"

Dump and change
When you and the boys are out at the bar, and there's no good looking ladies.
Ex. "Lets get out of this place, its' fuckin' brutal, it's time for a dump and change, lets bail.."

Coupons
"Ex. Hey goalie, I've seen coupons that save more than you!"

Roller Coaster
When someone terrible scores their first goal... 
Ex. "
Hey buddy this aint no fuckin roller coaster ride, put your hands down!"

Google Me
When someone asks, "who are you" you simply reply, "Google Me"

Grocery Stick
The grocery stick is the player on the bench that isn't getting any ice and isn't moving on the bench, he's just standing there, separating the forwards from the defense. Just like the grocery stick that separates your groceries from someone else's at the check out.

Mother Goose
This guy is the king of the bullshit stories. He has more of them than you could shake a stick at. He gets tail from broads that live 8 timezones away, so there is no way he'll ever get caught in the lie. This guy could have gone pro, but he hurt his knee, so he's playing Jr B now. He once killed a wolf with his bare hands, and has fake pictures to prove it. If you dare tell a story in his presense, he will one-up you without thinking twice about it.

Hellen Keller
The shy guy in the dressing room who doesn't say anything at all, but goes out and scores goal, after goal. Basically, he does his talking with his hands.

Foot Locker
You can use this for when a ref makes a bad call.
Ex. "Hey Ref! I've seen better ref's at foot locker!"

Sled Hockey
For the worst skater on a team, who cant skate for shit. Or used for someone who wipes out while attempting to make an easy crossover. 
Ex. "Hey Ankles, I've seen better cross overs in sled hockey!"

Donut Line
A line with good wingers but it has a brutal center, as if there was a hole in the middle of the line.

Safteys on
Used when a guy on the team just cant seem to pull the trigger to take a shot. 
Ex. "Hey 1-4 you gotta turn the saftey off before you pull the trigger, you plug."

Purell
Someone tries chirping you after you undress him with a nice move, you respond with.. 
Ex "Buddy my hands are so dirty purell wants to sponsor me"

Baggage Crew
The one guy on the team that whenever there is a fight, hes out there sorting up, picking up sticks, gloves, and whatever else is laying around. 

Raise Your Hand
Used to chirp a ref when he raises his hand to signal no more line changes, a delayed offside, an icing, or really any call in which they have their hand extended. 
Right before he throws his hand up you can say: 
"Raise your hand if your're gay!" 
"Raise your hand if you suck!" 
etc. 

Suitcase
The guy that gets traded to just about every team in the league, he never actually gets to unpack his suitcase.

 

    Sign Up For Our Newsletter!

    First Name*
    Email*

    Facebook Activity Feed

    TwitterFeed